Amor

Em vésperas do Dia dos Namorados, deixo-vos uma reprodução da carta escrita pelo físico – e Prémio Nobel – Richard Feynman à namorada de liceu e, mais tarde, mulher Arline, falecida de tuberculose em Junho de 1945. Arline Feynman tinha 25 anos. A carta foi redigida 16 meses após a sua morte:

“October 17, 1946

D’Arline,

I adore you, sweetheart.

I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese — or getting a movie projector. Can’t I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn’t have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don’t want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.

My darling wife, I do adore you.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Rich.

PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.

A carta manteve-se por abrir até à morte de Richard, em 1988.

Arline Feynman

Arline Feynman

 

Sobre Pedro Marta Santos

Queria mesmo era ser o Rui Costa. Ou sonâmbulo profissional. Se não escrever, desapareço – é o que me paga as contas desde 1991 (são 20 anos de carreira, o disco está a sair). Há momentos em que gosto mais de filmes do que de pessoas, o que seria trágico se não fosse cómico – mas passa-me depressa. Também gosto dos olhos da Anna Calvi. E das bifanas do Vítor. Aprecio um brinde: “À confusão dos nossos inimigos”. Não tenho nenhuns, só uma ternura infinita pelo azul das árvores e o amarelo do mar. E peço: digam-me mentiras.
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7 respostas a Amor

  1. Maria do Céu Brojo diz:

    Bela, sim.

  2. Olinda diz:

    esta, e muitas outras, é a prova de que as cartas de amor não são ridículas. porque o amor não é ridículo. porque amar não é ridículo.

  3. Esta carta é comovente. E ele casou mais duas vezes. Adorava a terceira mulher.

  4. Rita V diz:

    que bom. mas que coisa tão bonita.
    obrigada

  5. nanovp diz:

    Sabedoria amorosa: “you, dead, are so much better that anyone else alive”.

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